Triangle Relationship

Guest blogger: Sarah Martin

Mr. Dream Guy . . . we’ve all spent hours thinking about him. We doodled pictures of him when we were 12. We daydreamed about him during science class in ninth grade. And even in our twenties, we talk about him over coffee with our girlfriends: What color are his hair and eyes? Will he be tall or athletic? Will he be intellectual? Will he be . . . perfect?

In the past, my dream guy resided first and foremost in my mind and heart –  – a place where God alone should live. Mr. Dream Guy could do no wrong, sitting on an ivory pedestal way too high for any real man to live up to

When Mr. Dream Guy became my boyfriend, no longer just a dream, my expectations weighed him down. There was no way he could live up to my standards — nor did he want to!

There was no way he could live up to my standards — nor did he want to!

This weight of perfection put a strain on our relationship, and Mr. Dream Guy became Mr. Gone in a matter of months. I was devastated because, well . . . my dream guy wasn’t supposed to break my heart!

I don’t want this to happen to you, too, so I’m sharing a simple illustration that rearranged priorities in my heart and drastically affected how I approached relationships.

Let’s have some fun. Draw a triangle and write your name in the bottom left point, and your guy’s name on the bottom right point. At the top point write God. Now put one finger on your name and one finger on your guy’s name, moving your fingers up toward the God point. As we move our fingers (which represents ourselves) up toward God, we draw closer to Him and mature in our faith. Only then do we grow closer to our dream guy in a more meaningful way. This puts God as top priority.

Here’s some Truth regarding your romantic relationships (dating, engagement, marriage):

Trust in the Lord, and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness. Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. — Psalm 37:3–4 ESV

We’ve got to have our own stuff with the Lord. We’ve got to take Mr. Dream Guy off the pedestal and focus on Jesus first and foremost before we dive into a romantic relationship. If you’re currently in a serious relationship, or if you’re married, it’s not too late to put God on the pedestal instead of your guy. It might take you all having some tough conversations about faith and priorities. It might also take some intense time spent with Jesus to restructure the relationship. But the result of this triangle relationship is a healthy balance that allows for the mistakes of our Mr. I’m Only Human.

I would love to hear your thoughts about the triangle relationship. Leave a comment!

This blog was originally posted 11/2/12 on and can be read in its entirety here.

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